i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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