the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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