At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
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Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Will exercising make me less horny?
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