I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize