Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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