I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
