also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Your penis caused this!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
