found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
