is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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