i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize