if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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