What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
