So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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