Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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