I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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