I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
