I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
