At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i dont even know how to be here
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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