Walk of Shame. In a state park.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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