She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize