I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Green mimosas i think yes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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