just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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