and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
