12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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