I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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