I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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