just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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