My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
