I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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