yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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