i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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