just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
