Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
