We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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