he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
