Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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