Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
two words...techno handjob
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
