so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
