Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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