Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
