It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
