how can u be prego again
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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