She is in my trunk
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize