my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this just has baby written all over it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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