just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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