there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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