the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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