Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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