I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
