Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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