At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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