the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
