Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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