I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
