Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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