Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
